Can we outgrow our careers?
The importance of knowing when it’s time to make a change
On a recent family holiday, over a gin and tonic, the conversation inevitably turned to work. One younger family member in her early 20’s and in the first flourishes of her career, remarked she had already observed that her colleagues in higher positions where only slightly older than she was and there was almost no one over 40. I was amazed she had this realisation so early on in her career when it had taken me to at least 35 to finally look up and realise I was one of the last at the party. Since then I’ve been curious as to why.
I read an article in a recent edition of Happiful Magazine “How to pivot your life in middle age” and in the piece, medical doctor Clara Doran talks about being in the midst of her own pivot from her career as a medical doctor of 20 years. She has been a doctor since the age of 22 which makes her the same age as me at 42 and it seems we are not the only ones shaking things up. She goes on to quote research from the London Business School which suggests 47% of adults want to change their careers. While this is all adults I was particularly interested in those in middle age. 2021 research commissioned by Microsoft on the professional impact of the pandemic, recorded that 25% of over 45’s were considering a career change. In this research the reason for exploring new career paths stems from financial security (33%) and worries about the rising state pension age (25%). What I also found interesting was that 58% of those currently employed in sales, media and marketing were considering a new career, one of the highest in the study (more on why I think this might be in a moment). But what I am most curious about is why middle age?
There are several potential factors for wanting a midlife career change; finding a sense of purpose or igniting a creative spark that might have been left behind. Both of these are valid and are certainly a factor in my own pivot alongside the realisation that we are potentially halfway through our time, approximately 2,000 weeks in as Oliver Burkeman points out in his book Four Thousand Weeks. This is enough of a realisation to send us headfirst into an existential crisis or alternatively an opportunity to do a little mid-life review; where are we? where have we been? And where do we want to go next? This is often difficult to undertake as we maintain the pace of everyday life but in taking a career break I found it easier to step back and look at the bigger picture of my life as a whole, not just my working life. Understanding how my priorities and values have changed and what that might mean for the next stage of my life. After all it is highly likely we are not the same at 40 as we were at 20 and I’m not just talking about appearance but what we are able and willing to put up with.
In her book Big Magic Elizabeth Gilbert eloquently refers to this value exchange as the shit sandwich. The inevitable downside to any choice we make but the choice we must make in exchange for what we want. Like most, in the early days of my career in media the shit sandwich was low pay and long hours. I was lucky enough to work in an industry that offered free magazines, lunches and parties in exchange. At 25 I considered this a fair trade, in other words I was prepared to eat the shit sandwich. I was at a time in my life where those things mattered and gave me much enjoyment. Never again will I find myself on a Royal Caribbean cruise ship with hundreds of other media people enjoying an evenings cruise up the east cost of Australia from Sydney to Newcastle. A cabin overlooking the open sea, nightclubs open until the very early hours and everything completely free.
Gradually this shifted. The perks became too few and far between to offset the increasing hours and unsustainable workload, the scales were unbalanced. But what I valued in life shifted too. Time became more precious and spending that with the people closest to me became more important. My desire to be out every night of the week at events had been replaced by a deep need to be at home. I had been to some of the best restaurants in Sydney and London, I’d sat centre court at Wimbledon and dined in the Royal Enclosure at Ascot. There was nothing that could rebalance the scales to allow me to justify what I was giving up of myself.
Sure as I progressed the pay increased but where that left me was in a job I wasn’t so in love with I was willing to do anything. One that was like a hungry lion, the more blood, sweat and tears you gave it the more it wanted. The hours just as long as the beginning but without that deep lasting love or the perks to seduce you into some form of lust at least, it just wasn’t working for me anymore. In other works the shit sandwich was more than I was willing to put up with and I have a hunch I’m not the only one.
I had found myself 16 years into a path only to realise the shine had worn off and I wasn’t the same person I was when I started. I was left with a rusty old bike with the wheel coming off. Hideous in the light of day, difficult to ride and going absolutely nowhere. So I jumped off wheeled it into the shed and set about searching for a new mode of transport. More on this to come.
This week two beautiful podcasting worlds have collided with two hours of joyful listening. Fearne Cotton and Emma Gannon have joined forces as guests on each other’s podcasts. So this week I’ve been listening to:
Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place - Interviewing Emma Gannon on how to stay connected in an online world and why we need to stop asking everyone else what we think and listen to ourselves.
Emma Gannon’s CtrlAltDelete - Interviewing Fearne Cotton about intuition and manifesting to like herself more.
I’d love to hear what you’ve been curious about this week.
Really interesting about the value exchange, Rebecca. I too read Big Magic and was influenced by it in terms of the whole idea of creative living. This made me question a lot of what I had previously accepted and not questioned about my career.