Self sabotage and the art of procrastination
Avoiding the absolute terror of starting something new
I’m going to let you into a little secret. I’m working on a new project, well almost. I’ve got the bones of an idea committed to paper, I’ve done some research and I’ve vacuumed the living room. The long arm of procrastination has stopped me in my tracks, so this week I’ve been getting curious about self sabotage.
Self sabotage is as insidious as it is inconsistent. Manifesting itself in different forms, always showing up uninvited and just when you need all your energy and strength to make shit happen. When you have an idea you want to pursue, that job you want to go after or when it’s time to follow your dreams. Stopping you in your tracks before you can even get started.
This week I’ve been struck down before I can get started. Because that’s the easiest way isn’t it? To stop before you can begin. Before you can fail and most terrifying of all outcomes, before you can succeed. Success is near impossible if you don’t begin. Curious to find out more about why this happens and what I can do about it seemed like a step forward or at the very least a productive way to procrastinate.
During my research into self sabotage I found there were 4 key behaviours: procrastination, perfectionism, inner critic and fear of self promotion. All these behaviours were really doing was helping to avoid the fear. The most interesting one is the fear of success; what if it all works out? What if the project takes off? What if you get the job? Then what? And then there’s the fear of failure: What if it doesn’t work out? If we never really get started then we never either succeed or fail the outcome fully within our control and safely in our mind.
There is an thought provoking quote from Julia Cameron author of The Artists Way:
“But do you know how old I will be by the time I learn to play the piano/act/paint/write a decent play?” “Yes…the same age you will be if you don’t”
What this reminds us is that time will still pass whether we do the thing or not so we might as well start now.
Procrastination takes on different forms for different people, for me it’s cleaning or tidying the house. When I really want to avoid doing the thing I want to do most, I decide not another minute can pass without getting it done. For me it’s a win, win situation; I still get the feeling of achievement just not for the thing I really want to be doing. The fear is telling me to tackle something I can’t really fail at or leave incomplete. I’ve been doing this for years. As a child I would spend hours rearranging and cleaning my room to avoid homework or other more pressing tasks. So I thought now was the time to figure out what I could do to beat it.
I turned to Emma Gannon author of the book Sabotage for some helpful tips on how to outsmart procrastination. She suggests the following:
Breaking a big task into smaller steps to help you get started. Making a plan, I love plans, I can do this!
Once you’ve got the task broken down look for a risk free way to get started so the project feels less daunting. Maybe start the social media account before the website to get started without having to part with any money.
Do the part you’re dreading first so the rest of the work feels easier. This is easier said than done but I think it could be a game changer.
Tell people you’re working on a project for accountability and encouragement. In the simple act of telling someone about the project you’re working on gives you fuel to begin and make progress no matter how small.
So with this advice taken on board, here I am telling you all I’m working on something. See, you know now and I don’t want to let you down, your support means a lot. My lovely subscribers, I want to take you all on the journey with me so I’ll be sharing my progress with you. If there’s anything you’re working on to bring to life and want some gentle encouragement, share in the comments and we can make dreams come true together.
I’m listening to the audiobook of The Art of Rest by Claudia Hammond which counts down the most restful activities and why they recharge us. Spoiler alert, number 1 is reading (she discloses this in the first chapter so hopefully not too much of a spoiler)
I’ve been reading an article in the FT profiling five women writers on where they write As much for the beautiful photographs of writing spaces and bookshelves around the world, as for the words.