The Power of No

When you can figure out how to say it, that is

Hello my curious ones. You may or may not have noticed I’ve taken a little break over the past few weeks. Just while I got The Curious Marketer up and running and also for a little week away at the end of August. Thanks for sticking around. I promise lots of good reads to see you through the Autumn and Winter months here in the UK. Or if you’re joining me from the Southern Hemisphere, to enjoy in the sunshine with a glass of something cool.

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Photo by Daniel Herron on Unsplash

This week in response to a Facebook post I shared my favourite quote of the moment.

“Decide what kind of life you want, and then say no to everything that isn’t that”

Mel Robbins

In speaking it out loud I realised I had been living this as I shape my life and my business moving forward.

I’m only at the beginning of my self employment journey and I’ve had the opportunity to meet some wonderful people. Last week I had the amazing opportunity to be a guest on a Podcast. Jane Galloway from Quiet the Hive invited me on her podcast From Inside the Hive. We talked everything from career break’s to slowing down.

This was one opportunity that was a huge yes for me. The platform is inspiring and filled with some truly inspirational women. It aligned so closely to my values and was a genuine joy. So it was a total no brainier. I also took the opportunity to help another fellow writer with a video for her course on running creative zoom workshops. Aligned to my values, inspiring so also a huge yes.

Then a few weeks ago I joined an online networking group as a visitor. The people were kind, welcoming and passionate about their businesses. There was no question about the fit there. But it just didn’t feel right. The meeting started at 6.30am by this time most weekday mornings I’m out walking the dog. The meeting then didn’t finish until 9am by which time I missed my 8am writers hour with the London Writers Salon.

What I realised was the importance of my morning routine on the rest of my day. Without the dog walk and the writing I struggled to switch on my creative brain and find productivity within the day.

What also didn’t quite fit was the structure of the meeting. I felt like I was right back in the corporate weekly update meetings again, only earlier and longer. I always pushed back on those meetings that started at 8 and 8.30am in the corporate world. So why would I choose to attend a 6.30am meeting when I didn’t have to. On so many levels it just wasn’t right for me. But it was because the people were so kind and welcoming I wrestled with saying no.

There’s nothing wrong with trying things out. I’m at the beginning of my business journey so I’m still very much finding my feet. And part of that is understanding what is and what isn’t aligned to my values and how I want to live. The thing I’m still getting to grips with is how to say no to the things that aren’t it.

In his book Four Thousand Weeks Time and How to Use it Oliver Burkeman gives us a get out and that’s the concept of finitude. That we only have a finite amount of time so ‘you definitely wont have time for everything you want to do’. So why spend more time than you need to doing things that you don’t want to do. A very good reason for saying no. Don’t you think?

• Farrah Storr’s post on The importance of not having it all – Why the Things You Say No to, are The Things that Can Truly Define your Life

• Now I know what’s not for me I will be trying out some of these tips The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life  

• This piece in Fast Company on Why No-one Wants to be a Middle Manager Anymore highlighting the gap between the expectations of senior management and the reality and expectations of junior staff. And what it’s like to be caught in the middle. I really felt this in full time employment and it was exhausting

Is there anything you’ve been curious about this week?