Why do we feel the need to put a number on it

My age is all the things I’ve learnt along the way

I rarely think about my age now. I’ve passed some of the traditional milestones and opted out of others. It’s only in conversation with others that my attention is drawn to the passing of time and the numbers that serve to count the years I’ve existed.

I’ve been thinking about time and memories a little bit this week. It’s my birthday and I always start to think about all the things I’ve done with my time up until this point. Sometimes I would mark the passing of time in memories, a collection of invites, tickets and programs, the proof that it all happened. But what I’ve done more recently is collect the thing’s I’ve learnt along the way.

So I thought I would share some of the things I’ve come to realise and those I plan to take with me into the next year. And I’d love it if you shared some of the things you’ve learnt in the comments.

A few things I’ve figured out along the way…

• Know what really matters to you and always make decisions based on those values

• Keeps boundaries with ferocity. When you give in once people will keep expecting it of you

• Make yourself and your own happiness a priority

• Stay true to your own version of success and keep on your own path. Following someone else’s will only lead you somewhere you don’t really want to be

• Question the big thoughts. Is this what you really think and feel or what you think you should think and feel?

• When you realise you don’t have to meet societies expectations of you, you discover there were so many traditional life decisions that don’t really matter anymore either

• Don’t be afraid to do the things no one else is doing. If you look closer you will find your people

• There is not only one way to live a life. If you can’t see the a path, make one. There will be people coming after you that will be glad you did

• Slow down. Action following a moment of calm is always better than rushing into something

• There is no such thing as wasting time. We are not here to be productive

• Remember what you loved as a child and never stop doing it. There is always time

• Grow things (both in the garden and otherwise) If they don’t work out there is always another chance to get it right

• Travel alone. There is something both freeing and rebellious about eating alone and something mildly amusing about the confusion on the face of the staff when you ask for a table for one

• Follow your curiosity. You never know where that thread will lead you, today, tomorrow, years from now

• Read. Read widely and deeply and from as many different perspectives and experiences

• Be an ally if you can. It’s always better to speak up than to stay silent

• Fight battles that are not your sparingly. You don’t need to be the voice of everyone all the time

• Adopt the mindset of ‘I’m not here to win, I’m here to contribute’ and let go of always needing to be right

• Quitting is not a bad thing. There is courage in knowing when to stop or when to leave a situation

• Your job does not define you. It’s a part of life not all of it

• Money and power are a wonderful illusion of success, but when you really uncover what matters most it rarely includes these two things

• Once you let go of ego you can enjoy where you are. This is happiness

• Create a life you don’t need a holiday from. The holidays will seem all the sweeter when you are still excited to return to life afterwards

• There is a beauty in the ordinary. The everyday things are worth stopping to be in, not just the big moments as these are few and far between

These are the things I know right now in this moment. They may change or evolve and for sure some new ones will be added but this is what the years have taught me. The number will never tell the story of my life, it’s all the things I’ve learnt along the way that make me.

What’s something you’ve learnt that’s changed the way you see the world? If you feel like you want to, I’d love you to share your wisdom with me in the comments.