This week was my two year anniversary of writing here, I published my first post on the 20th February 2022. At the beginning of this week I had planned to celebrate the milestone on here somehow, but then life happened, the dog got sick and time stopped.
Fortunately, as I write this on Sunday afternoon, the dog has recovered. Two trips to the vets and an overnight stay that cost more than our last holiday later, she is back demanding that her very need be met and we are none the wiser as to what happened.
So there’s no big fanfare or no re-brand to celebrate the milestone but there was a story in the news this week that lit a fire in my belly to write about so here we go!
For as long as I’ve been writing here I’ve wanted to talk about being childfree but I never wanted to pitch it in a way that comes across as us and them, because I don’t believe there is an ‘us and them’. Becoming a parent or not becoming a parent, be it by choice or circumstance are just two different paths. Each with different challenges and joys but essentially they just different ways of experiencing the world.
This week in the news I’ve seen story after story taking about a ‘population crisis’. The birth rate is declining and economists are looking for someone to blame and it’s women. Each headline straight out of a dystopian universe.
The Daily Mail designed to shock Britain's baby bust laid bare: Fertility rate plunges to all-time low as expert warns 'slow-burn' crisis could cripple the economy... so how many children does the average woman have in YOUR area?
“Experts believe the trend is partly down to women focusing on their education and careers and couples waiting to have children until later in life.”
I would love to know who these experts are and of the diversity of the panel because my suspicion is that these are not the only reasons they are just the most convenient.
But what these headline had in common was the use of the word ‘woman’ as if the responsibility lies exclusively with women. The choices are being made by women alone and that’s just not how it happens. The choice for both those who have children and those who don’t are made by weighing up factors that are much more complex and often not made alone.
But every few years when the figures are released these headlines appear. In the hope that they will scare, guilt, persuade women into having more children to keep the economy going. But it’s not about persuading those who don’t want to have children to procreate but in supporting those who do with systems that support their choice.
Vicky Spratt in The Independant but it brilliantly in Don’t blame ‘narcissistic’ women for the UK’s falling birth rate
“Falling birth rates are an economic problem for politicians, not young women, to solve with social policy.”
Childfree women are an easy target, the narrative fits. Women choosing to focus on themselves rather than ‘doing their bit’. It’s much neater than facing up to the fact that those who want children are having few due to economic and sometimes environmental concerns, both of which have everything to do with policy.
My choice is a dog whose monthly insurance is the price of a three course meal out but it’s mine. I don’t owe the economy a child. What I want for every woman is choice. The freedom to decide which path to take and be supported on whichever one they find themselves on. Not to be demonised for it.
I’m curious to know what you think. Let’s chat in the comments.
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Great piece Rebecca.